Complaints & connections · borters.ch
Grief is not a disorder but love without a destination — it needs time and space, not repair.
Also known as: grief · bereavement · loss
Open in the tool — with search and all the links →This compilation is for information and replaces neither medical diagnosis nor treatment. If you have symptoms, see a doctor.
Grief is not an illness but the natural and healthy response to a serious loss — the death of a loved one, but also the end of a relationship, the loss of health or of a chapter of life. It can come in waves: sadness, longing, anger, guilt, emptiness, sometimes relief, and in between moments where things almost carry on as normal. All of this is allowed. There is no correct timetable and no fixed order of “stages” to work through. Over time the pain usually finds a place where it fills less of the whole day, without the bond to the lost person being lost. Sometimes, though, grief stays overwhelming for a very long time or turns into a lasting low mood — then seeking support is not weakness but a wise step.
There is no “too slow” — your own pace is the right one.
Trusted people, rituals and speaking help carry it.
Sleep, some movement and eating help, even when there’s little strength.
Grief counselling, groups or medical help are there when it gets too heavy — accepting it is a strength.
Grief is not an illness and needs no medicine. In studies, antidepressants change little about grief itself; they work when a depression has also developed — and that distinction is the actual point. A sleeping aid for a few nights is defensible; over weeks it postpones the processing. In about seven to ten out of a hundred bereaved people the state stays just as intense beyond a year; there is a specific, effective talking therapy for that.
The strongest time lasts six to twelve months for most people, in waves rather than a straight path; anniversaries bring it back without that being a setback. It counts as prolonged when it is still just as intense at twelve months and governs daily life — that affects about seven to ten in a hundred bereaved people, more often after a sudden loss. Sleep is usually the first thing disturbed and the last to recover.
Grief is normal — not a fault to be “fixed”.
Feelings shift; there are no stages to complete in order.
Over time it usually becomes more bearable, without losing the bond.
Very long paralysing grief, persistent hopelessness or thoughts of not wanting to live → seek support.
Grief needs no blood values. If the exhaustion lasts unusually long, the thyroid is checked — an underactive thyroid tires in a similar way.
A lack causes exhaustion, problems concentrating, low mood and forgetfulness — and it is one of the few causes that can be found and put right with a single blood draw.
Low values are common with low mood. Whether correcting it lifts the mood is not settled; that it makes sense in winter at our latitudes is.
An empty store causes tiredness, lack of drive and problems concentrating long before any anaemia becomes visible. In women of childbearing age the most common single reason.
A building block of the cell coverings in the brain. The studies on mood are inconsistent; as part of a good diet it belongs there anyway.
Needed for making the messengers in the brain. It runs short with alcohol and under certain medicines — and it is always judged together with B12.
For depressive complaints an EPA emphasis of 1–2 g a day over 8 weeks is studied. Grief is not depression, and it needs no treatment — it needs time, and sometimes someone who listens.
In the weeks afterwards sleep is often broken. 0.5–2 mg an hour before bed shortens falling asleep by about seven minutes on average — that is little, but it is honestly measured.
Clearly worthwhile and well supported when deficient — vegan, older adults, certain drugs. No energy boost without a deficiency.
Clearly worthwhile and well studied when deficient; fewer data for the wider uses. Fat-soluble — check blood levels at high doses.
Clearly effective with proven deficiency, useless without. Take only with a documented deficiency — excess is harmful.
In pregnancy clearly established against neural-tube defects, otherwise mainly with deficiency. Can mask a B12 deficiency — watch both.
In the first weeks the stress axis is measurably activated — that explains the broken sleep, the missing appetite and the susceptibility to infections. It is a physical reaction, not a weakness.
Broken heart syndrome is not a turn of phrase: a sudden loss can trigger, through an adrenaline storm, a real but temporary heart weakness. It looks like a heart attack and mostly heals completely within weeks.
In the first weeks appetite often disappears entirely. Small regular meals keep strength up — even when nothing tastes good. Losing more than 5 % of body weight in a month deserves a look.
Grief is not an illness and needs no treatment. Movement helps many with the physical restlessness and disturbed sleep of the first months — nothing more is meant.
Traditionally used for restlessness and trouble falling asleep. The evidence is weak, the risk low — in acute grief many prefer this to sleeping tablets.